This post is dedicated to all of the Fitbit screenshots I have up from Day 120 to Day 129, or August 15th to August 24th in sequential order from top to bottom.
Talking it out with Mom – Internal Conflict resolution Notes below: Introduction 1. When the Lady broke up with me, she told me I had to fight off some internal demons. My response to that was anger and frustration and she told me I was lying to myself. I retorted back that she was wrong. The reality is that the Lady was right. I did have internal conflicts to face. I understand now why she had to let me go. She is correct. I was not ready for a relationship. How can I love someone else when I cannot love myself? 2. I have spent a lot of time self reflecting. The reality is that I do not love myself. Why do I not love myself? Because I’m not good enough. Why am I not good enough? Because throughout my life, my mother would always tell me that I needed to do better. She always compared me to other kids. She always told me th...
Day 127 - Making amends Introduction : Making immediate and direct amends is part of pretty much every spiritual healing program I know of. The longer you hold it in, the worst it gets. The longer you make someone wait, the less likely they will be willing to listen to you. Freeing the body, mind, and soul of this stress is the best thing I can do for myself. I do my best, and the rest is up to the powers that be. Changing how I think : I spent most of my day walking around. I clocked in at 8000 steps today, but I think today's goal should be 12500 steps. I was supposed to meet with my trainer but they told me an emergency had happened - death in the family. I offered my condolences and wished them the best. I did ask when the best time would be to contact them, since ...
Day 124 - Changes Introduction : Change is hard it really is. We all say we want to change, but change is hard. It takes time. And time is really something we can’t afford to lose. So don’t make mistakes like I did. If you do, learn from them. Never repeat them. You may never get a second chance. Changing how I think : After self-reflection, I determined that if I am going to change, I need to go all in. I don’t want to hide anymore. All of the things I have been talking about recently are interlinked. Quitting gaming, self-love deficiency, and internal conflicts. If I love myself, and I achieve things, I won’t have anything to hide. I won’t have to fake anything. There won’t be a need for a cover story if I already am telling a real story worth telling. So yesterday after I made my video, I went to the boxing gym. I ...
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