Day 128

Day 128 - Spiritual development

Note:  I was too tired on 8/23/2018 to write this entry.  This is being written on the morning of 8/24/2018.

Introduction:

                Many of the problems I have been having in life have been the result of spiritual damage.  I have always known I was spiritual.  I have always seen man-made religions and atheism as social constructs designed to keep the population suppressed and mentally chained.  I know that our existence is not meaningless and that we are surrounded by temptation and distractions in our every day lives, especially in the first world.  Of course, when I say that I know there is something greater than mankind to anyone, they automatically group me as believing in God.  This is not really correct, but a programmed response is expected as the result of religious teachings having such an effect on the masses.

Changing how I think:

                I have been conversing with a very spiritually open-minded man the last few days.  It would seem that I have always been a person who was heavily influenced by my dreams, and I just never interpreted them properly.  Spiritual awareness and awakening are things I have always had.  However, I haven't taken this knowledge to the level it needs to go, and utilized it to its full potential.  I am resolved to dedicate my time to spiritual growth and healing.  I will also find a teacher who is capable of helping me develop these skills.
                Yesterday I attempted to do my incline workout with 5 lb dumbbells in hand.  I was able to do about a quarter of a mile before I felt enough pain in my arms to tell myself I needed to stop.  I proceeded to complete my workout routine and finish with a walk to hit 10000 steps. 
                Today, I made a modification to my training.  I used 3 lb weights and walked a quarter of a mile on my incline routine just to see if there was still noticeable pain - and there was.  I completed my work out routine, but for my treadmill walk from 7800 to 10000 steps, I held on to the 3 lb dumbbells.  It was about a 15 minute walk on the treadmill which was more manageable without the incline.   I believe that from now on, I will walk my steps on the treadmill with dumbbells in hand.

Achievements today:
    1.  Successfully completed and maintained training program.
    2.  Challenged myself by adding to what I am already doing (dumbbells), different from yesterday.
    3.  Established spiritual goals.

Internal thoughts:
    1.  What are my true passions?

Images today:


     I lost my incline workout photo.
     This is walking to 10000 steps. 


Schedule today:


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 124

Image
Day 124 - Changes Introduction :     Change is hard it really is.   We all say we want to change, but change is hard.   It takes time.   And time is really something we can’t afford to lose.   So don’t make mistakes like I did.   If you do, learn from them.   Never repeat them.   You may never get a second chance.   Changing how I think :     After self-reflection, I determined that if I am going to change, I need to go all in.   I don’t want to hide anymore.   All of the things I have been talking about recently are interlinked.   Quitting gaming, self-love deficiency, and internal conflicts.   If I love myself, and I achieve things, I won’t have anything to hide.   I won’t have to fake anything.   There won’t be a need for a cover story if I already am telling a real story worth telling.     So yesterday after I made my video, I went to the boxing gym.   I met a trainer who asked me what I was looking for.   I said I wanted to get fit.   He asked me if I was ready to put in
Read more

Day 123

Image
Talking it out with Mom – Internal Conflict resolution Notes below: Introduction     1.   When the Lady broke up with me, she told me I had to fight off some internal demons.   My response to that was anger and frustration and she told me I was lying to myself.   I retorted back that she was wrong.   The reality is that the Lady was right.   I did have internal conflicts to face.   I understand now why she had to let me go.   She is correct.   I was not ready for a relationship.   How can I love someone else when I cannot love myself?     2.   I have spent a lot of time self reflecting.   The reality is that I do not love myself.   Why do I not love myself?   Because I’m not good enough.   Why am I not good enough?   Because throughout my life, my mother would always tell me that I needed to do better.   She always compared me to other kids.   She always told me that I wasn’t trying hard enough.   As a result of her consistently putting me down (negative reinforcement) I have
Read more

Reflection, Days 120, 121, 122, and 123.

Image
This is a retrospective view of the things: In 72 hours, a LOT has changed. Day 120: I created a youtube video for the Lady.  It was a video of me singing a song for her that she linked me when we first met.  I then created a video of about 40 minutes explaining why I still loved her and how we could make things work if we both tried. I texted her the links. She never looked at the videos. Conclusion:  I was stuck in a one sided relationship, foolish dreamer.  I probably creeped her out. ---- Day 121: I called up the Lady and she pretty much made clear we were done.  I wasn't listening.  I was still stuck. She told me not to contact her again and I was not welcome at her residence. I was broken all day.  I was irritable at work. Eventually, I "got it". Conclusion:  I was in denial of the fact the relationship was over since Day 97.  I was the only one still trying to reach out to her.  She had already moved on.  On Day 118 I had gone up to see he
Read more