Day 131

Day 131 - Finishing the job.

Introduction:

             Leaving things unfinished is simply not my style.  I was determined to finish the yard today no matter what.  I was also determined to ensure that I get health supplements, a scale, and a laundry basket for myself, because I was tired of carrying my clothes up and down the stairs without a basket.  Self love in practice.


Photos today:

             Just some things I saw today...






















Dream Log:


             I remember fragments of my dreams.  There were visions of me cutting down spider's nests and ant's nest.  I must have still been thinking about my yard work.  Perhaps I was feeling guilt for displacing (or killing) all of those ants and spiders.  There was a fragment of a dream about driving with the Lady on a road trip and having a good time.  I miss her.  A lot.


Changing the way I think:

             Sometimes the day isn't very eventful, but we can choose to make things more exciting and interesting.  For starters, I couldn't wait to go down the stairs and do the yard.  My roommate wanted to go to the farmer's market, but I didn't want to go.  But then I realized that sometimes it isn't just about me.  I went with him and found out about the farmer's market, their available products, and store hours.  Upon our return, I went ahead and finished cutting the grass.
             I noticed there were a lot of weeds on the side, and so I began to pull out the weeds.  As I began weeding, I felt motivated to pull more and more, until I became dedicated to weeding out the entire backyard.  I pulled out many plants and discovered that a lot of my weeds were coming from next door, as my neighbors are young men who lease a home and don't care for the yard.  I knocked on my neighbor's door asked for their approval to go into their yard to complete the job.  I spent a good 30 minutes taking out 3 unwanted trees which were at least an inch thick in stem.
         


             After I came home, I was pumped, so I proceeded to go to the gym for my work out. 
             I sent a message to my trainer, requesting his instructions for my second week's workout.  I also requested to know when I could meet with him for more training
             I decided to go and buy some health supplements, as this was mentioned in my diet instructions.  I also purchased a laundry basket and ordered a scale for myself.  These are things which I need to continue living a healthy lifestyle.
             Previously my mindset would have been to remain frugal and not spend on such things, but now I feel it is important to invest in myself because I haven't done so for so long.  Even though it is going to cost me, I know that my health is worth the investment.

Achievements today:

               1.  Continued incline work out.  Maintained diet.  Walked to 10000 steps with 5 lb weights.
               2.  Purchased health supplements.
               3.  Contacted instructor, ready for week 2 of training.

Images today:


                  Incline only.                                                                           Walk after incline.






















Schedule today:


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 124

Image
Day 124 - Changes Introduction :     Change is hard it really is.   We all say we want to change, but change is hard.   It takes time.   And time is really something we can’t afford to lose.   So don’t make mistakes like I did.   If you do, learn from them.   Never repeat them.   You may never get a second chance.   Changing how I think :     After self-reflection, I determined that if I am going to change, I need to go all in.   I don’t want to hide anymore.   All of the things I have been talking about recently are interlinked.   Quitting gaming, self-love deficiency, and internal conflicts.   If I love myself, and I achieve things, I won’t have anything to hide.   I won’t have to fake anything.   There won’t be a need for a cover story if I already am telling a real story worth telling.     So yesterday after I made my video, I went to the boxing gym.   I met a trainer who asked me what I was looking for.   I said I wanted to get fit.   He asked me if I was ready to put in
Read more

Day 123

Image
Talking it out with Mom – Internal Conflict resolution Notes below: Introduction     1.   When the Lady broke up with me, she told me I had to fight off some internal demons.   My response to that was anger and frustration and she told me I was lying to myself.   I retorted back that she was wrong.   The reality is that the Lady was right.   I did have internal conflicts to face.   I understand now why she had to let me go.   She is correct.   I was not ready for a relationship.   How can I love someone else when I cannot love myself?     2.   I have spent a lot of time self reflecting.   The reality is that I do not love myself.   Why do I not love myself?   Because I’m not good enough.   Why am I not good enough?   Because throughout my life, my mother would always tell me that I needed to do better.   She always compared me to other kids.   She always told me that I wasn’t trying hard enough.   As a result of her consistently putting me down (negative reinforcement) I have
Read more

Reflection, Days 120, 121, 122, and 123.

Image
This is a retrospective view of the things: In 72 hours, a LOT has changed. Day 120: I created a youtube video for the Lady.  It was a video of me singing a song for her that she linked me when we first met.  I then created a video of about 40 minutes explaining why I still loved her and how we could make things work if we both tried. I texted her the links. She never looked at the videos. Conclusion:  I was stuck in a one sided relationship, foolish dreamer.  I probably creeped her out. ---- Day 121: I called up the Lady and she pretty much made clear we were done.  I wasn't listening.  I was still stuck. She told me not to contact her again and I was not welcome at her residence. I was broken all day.  I was irritable at work. Eventually, I "got it". Conclusion:  I was in denial of the fact the relationship was over since Day 97.  I was the only one still trying to reach out to her.  She had already moved on.  On Day 118 I had gone up to see he
Read more