Day 126

Day 126 - Change of format

Introduction:    

              I removed my videos because I found out the audio did not record properly.  I will be more careful in the future.  I have determined it is not meaningful to have the same content in video as I have in writing, so I will only do video content as necessary (possibly once a week).

Changing how I think:

              There are days when we have to push ourselves to complete what needs to be done.             
              It happened that I didn’t move around much at work today, so I ended up coming home with under 5000 steps.  Even after my tread mill workout I was only at 7300 steps. 
              I was going to go home, but I convinced myself to drive back out and finish the 10000 steps on the treadmill at a moderate speed.  As I was completing my workout, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would have been this disciplined to do this a week ago.

              I found out there was a problem with my audio videos.  So basically everything I have been recording since Day 122 has had no audio and it's just my mouth moving.  Fortunately, no one watched the videos, so I deleted them even though I really didn't want to.

              I believe I will stick to writing the blog for now.

Achievements today:

               1.  Continued with workout plan (incline treadmill/push ups), 10000 steps on Fitbit, sticking to meal plan, drinking 1 gallon of water.


Photos today:

               Incline photo followed by walking to 10000 steps.















Schedule today:




   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 124

Image
Day 124 - Changes Introduction :     Change is hard it really is.   We all say we want to change, but change is hard.   It takes time.   And time is really something we can’t afford to lose.   So don’t make mistakes like I did.   If you do, learn from them.   Never repeat them.   You may never get a second chance.   Changing how I think :     After self-reflection, I determined that if I am going to change, I need to go all in.   I don’t want to hide anymore.   All of the things I have been talking about recently are interlinked.   Quitting gaming, self-love deficiency, and internal conflicts.   If I love myself, and I achieve things, I won’t have anything to hide.   I won’t have to fake anything.   There won’t be a need for a cover story if I already am telling a real story worth telling.     So yesterday after I made my video, I went to the boxing gym.   I met a trainer who asked me what I was looking for.   I said I wanted to get fit.   He asked me if I was ready to put in
Read more

Day 123

Image
Talking it out with Mom – Internal Conflict resolution Notes below: Introduction     1.   When the Lady broke up with me, she told me I had to fight off some internal demons.   My response to that was anger and frustration and she told me I was lying to myself.   I retorted back that she was wrong.   The reality is that the Lady was right.   I did have internal conflicts to face.   I understand now why she had to let me go.   She is correct.   I was not ready for a relationship.   How can I love someone else when I cannot love myself?     2.   I have spent a lot of time self reflecting.   The reality is that I do not love myself.   Why do I not love myself?   Because I’m not good enough.   Why am I not good enough?   Because throughout my life, my mother would always tell me that I needed to do better.   She always compared me to other kids.   She always told me that I wasn’t trying hard enough.   As a result of her consistently putting me down (negative reinforcement) I have
Read more

Reflection, Days 120, 121, 122, and 123.

Image
This is a retrospective view of the things: In 72 hours, a LOT has changed. Day 120: I created a youtube video for the Lady.  It was a video of me singing a song for her that she linked me when we first met.  I then created a video of about 40 minutes explaining why I still loved her and how we could make things work if we both tried. I texted her the links. She never looked at the videos. Conclusion:  I was stuck in a one sided relationship, foolish dreamer.  I probably creeped her out. ---- Day 121: I called up the Lady and she pretty much made clear we were done.  I wasn't listening.  I was still stuck. She told me not to contact her again and I was not welcome at her residence. I was broken all day.  I was irritable at work. Eventually, I "got it". Conclusion:  I was in denial of the fact the relationship was over since Day 97.  I was the only one still trying to reach out to her.  She had already moved on.  On Day 118 I had gone up to see he
Read more